wednesday nite already...

when you see this post, you'll find me nodding to sleep already. but with a smile on my face. you want to know the reason why? I just had the best times of my life playing games at the arcade; trying our hands on the time crisis, the japanese game involving a person to drum on the big jap wooden drum (haha.. I dunno what to call it or describe it) what was thought to be the most normal event turned out to be fun with a twist. my heart is deeply filled with the joys of laughter, the fun that both me and Sabrina shared together. we tried out hands on driving games, shooting games, shopping on jap clothes, almost raiding the value one shop in Jurong point. we visited most shops in Jurong point, and she went there with the purpose of meeting her friends who worked with her in the John Little store. everyone was shocked that Sabrina cut her hair, and they raved over it. (I admit, me too..)

as for work, I think that I'm getting the spotlight again. I believe that I am getting close to crossing the fine line that 'exists' between my workplace and another company. (I'm not going to disclose the name). Of course, every company has its own set of rules and ways of doing things, so it's bound to have conflicts with other company trying to work together hand in hand. (I think) I am deeply aware that there is a silent rivalry between these two. if you observe really carefully, my colleagues wld whisper among themselves whenever a problem was dumped into them out of nowhere and both parties would fight it out strongly. it is a very competitive place out there. everything you do, or say to the staff of the rival company would be heard and listened carefully and the noted. there, that little info will be spread around among the other staff like wildfire, and there's nothing you can do about it.

I was the only one who don't even bother to listen or get involved into the fight. you could say that I am different. Different because that I was a temp staff who is really close with one of the staff from the 'rival' company, different because my only intention when I step inside the work office is to work my butt off and heck care to the rumors that went around circulating among the rest of my colleagues, different because I dare to joke, laugh, try to work together with the 'rivals'. different because, I was never a part of them in the first place, different because my very own gang can backstab me from behind, ( it happened earlier) different because I am contract staff, so the way they treat me is totally drastic than with permanent members (I'm not kidding here) all the bullshit that they give me everyday or dump into me, I just be patient, swallow it all up and move on. (although it can be very hard to do sometimes.) and I realised one thing today. "you can never please everyone. only 30% or 40% only) the rest? just buat bodoh. (ignore them)

Just in case it you don't have a friggin idea what I'm talking about, let me tell you the whole picture in just a few sentences. in my workplace, there is also another company who is signed to work together with us. their main role is to find jobs or shipments for us; let's call them the 'agent company'. and our role is to execute the shipments; liase with the warehouse ppl for the cargo, inform and keep them informed the whereabouts of their cargo.. that sort of thing. and my job? it's to record every cargo that goes on or out of the warehouse or even cargo that were directly shipped to its ultimate location (final destination) somethimes the problem that I had to deal with everyday is to find the ultimate location of the cargo. when the physical documents comes into my hands, the supplier itself does not provide the source code or the country. my option is to go to the c.s. ppl and ask them where is this item shipped to, and they did give me the info that I need. but even sometimes they may want to sabotage me, and might refuse to let me know. the other option is to ask another person, for the details. if all fails, then I have to head to the agent company and ask the agents.. if they also refuse to help you, then I really had nothing to do about it. I had no way out. and in the end, I'm the one who will get the blame. if I never provide the ultimate destination, the cargo will be stuck in the warehouse, and dust will be collected on them. so you see, in my line of work, I really cannot afford to get involved in these office politics. if I do, I'll only bound to make my job and life difficult for everyone involved. (and Johnny will be after my butt.)

ever since I started working here, I set a few rules for myself. and I make sure that I uphold them with my utmost integrity, even though I don't see myself working there for long, I strive to make sure that it will be an experience that has an ending that I'm truly proud of.

going to thursday nite..

if you have gone inside msn, and had spotted my greeting name, you must be wondering why I wrote that. to talk about my current job, I have received plenty of advice and help and support from family and friends. is there another better job for me elsewhere? Maybe Allah had determined whether this data entry job is for me, and there's a lot of 'cubaan' or obstacles that come in my way. And I can say that I have changed. (felt like i did) due to culture shock, working environment, change of friends, the way i work.

Data entry. it may seem like a simple job: analysing, putting all the required info into the microsoft excel with the goal of doing it fast and with minimum mistakes. if you don't know, ask ppl. that's easier said than done. it is good to be friendly, open, humble. tease ppl and never gossip about others. Most important of all, be really patient and receive all the bullshit from others. get the meaning?

but the truth is, I'm scared. I'm scared of wronging ppl, making them angry, making them complain about me, making them gossip about me. and I'm scared of the whole environment, the ppl, the office gossips, the office itself. and I'm scared of what they want to talk bad about me. I'm scared of being manipulated. I'm afraid of trusting others. that's why you see me quiet most of the time, and even they try to backstab me straight on the face, I will just keep my cool and just do my own job. most importantly, I do not want to get involved in the office politics that is going on right now. my intention to come to that office is to do my work, not to find trouble. I want to keep a low profile, and let nobody know about the real me. is that easy? NOPE.

I have come to realise that being a temp staff, I'm just a small fry compared to others. even my boss can be totally unreasonable, but his words speak more volumes than mine. (did I fail to mention that he's the operations Manager?) everyone can listen to him, side with him, joke, laugh with him. ) and I realise that 2 months too late. and my good friends are leaving the company at the end of the month, leaving me alone to cope in this cruel, cold world of office life. Backstabbing is the norm of ofice politics. I do not know why, but I really cannot perform my best when I know someone may be watching over me, searching for my mistakes. you may say, just ignore them. do your best and just keep a low profile. I am not a perfect person. most of the time, I make mistakes. and almost everyday, I did get scoldings from Johnny. it may be something new that I haven't learnt yet, but still, I really need at least 2 or 3 times of repeated words to get inside my head. i admit, I am a slow learner. As long as you give me time, I will try my best to learn. once you point out my mistakes, I will try my darnest to never make that mistake again. and at home, I will improvise on my methods to continuously give my 100% effort into my work. trial and error. it is onlt the best way to learn on the job. I feel like I'm investing my 100% effort, but my friend told me, I need to work more harder than before to make up for my mistakes.
right now, I make it a point to finish all my work at the end of the day, and try not to leave one document behind to do the next day. I want to master the skill of finishing all aspects of the work, not only updating the inventoy list, but also on my weakness, the passing around documents. the methods of passing change so fast until i myself get soo blur. u get what I mean? also, the matching of documents and for that, I need to liaise with the cs ppl to get the customer copy from them.

the most important thing in life, all of us make mistakes, try to learn from them. as for me, I strive my best in my work. but once I reached a certain standard, I must work harder to maintain that standard. it is easy to slack. but it's really difficult to earn back the trust from others. I learnt that lesson the hard way. for me, it has never been more humbling. I learnt to be organised, learnt to be more aware of the surroundings. (except when I'm doing my work, that's when I'm really engrossed updating the list. even ppl had to call me several times to grab my attention. hee.. ) I learnt so many things about my blindspots, which I'm not proud of. the part and parcel of my job. the treatment they give me is totally different than perm staff. I had to endure that. haix.. let me think... is there anymore I want to say in this blog post? (scratching my head) Zilch.

this is my job, my life. and this is... me.

p.s. even if I tried my best but it doesn't work out, I might as well leave and find another job.

zzz...

today is a monday for me.. the start of a new day. the thought of facing another day with the documents are making me sleepy. having an admin job is stressful. you need a lot of sleep to counter the fatique of staring at the screen for the whole day....

set of finding another job for the time being... even though I know how to cope with my job and also do my work now.... nevertheless, this work experience has taught me several life skills that I'll never forget and i'll make sure that it is something that is won;t be pushed behind... waiting.. waiting for saturday newspapers...

wanna take another job.. that's it.. cannot tahan.. wanna sleepp...

sad...

I guess that today happens to be the day when I realised that I already started to appear as the know it all. I realised that I cannot just carry one of the principles: that is to finish all the work. without double checking them. but also I has started implementing the idea that I asume that whatever I did was correct and needless to say, problems arose. today in the morning, I got a scolding from Johnny. Always ask Sam about Schlumberger documents. but I believe that there's a fine line between asking for help and also being overdependent on them. haix... back to square one. Be humble, strive hard to earn back their respect and also ask when you don't know. remember what they had said to you. do not assume things and ask Johnny... gotta go.. me wanna be MIA for a while..

well...

do you ever have these memories where you really cherish? I meant those whom you are really not willing to let go? I do have them.. Let me tell you about them. My memories are the ones which reflect the times all of us had spent together. JUst us, no worries, no disputes, no stress and definitely no problems. and all of us enjoying each other's company and presence... I wonder when will those times be here again.

Since I'm working, i felt that I'm being shut off from the rest. Since the rest are still schooling, I feel as if I'm the last person to know about what's going on with their lives. but I do have a new life, a new beginning to start with my life. My colleagues whom I'm close to, Josephine, and Jessica. Both of them are fabulous. No doubt they are 5 years older than me, and they do come from China, but nevertheless, a friendship bond connected the three of us. at first, I am close to Jessica, since we can talk a lot in common. Work is like that, the only grand thing about it is that we can get to be independent, and also we do get $$ too. but the downside is, Office politics. but for me, I come here to do my work, I don't like to involve myself in office politics, but mistakes do happen, and once it gets exposed, fingers starts pointing. the first thing that everyone does is to deny. the only defence that you can do is not to take it personally. because everywhere, tere are bound to be backstabbers. no doubt you will know about them, but also you have to take note and be extra cautious and wary when dealing with them. for me, I just do my work, and do what I can do, then oce the documents are out of my hands, I wash my hands off them. Johnny and I respect each other now, and what Jessica told me is true: in order to get along with your boss, you need to find a way to communicate with them. and do what their expectations of you.. finish your work for the day and they won't disturb you. When I first started working here, the warehouse ppl, especially Alex, Wei Ping, Supra, and the other temp person, Vincent, all encouraged me to just learn as much as I could and also do your best. but Alex took me aside and told me in the face.
"Adilla, no doubt you are new here, but as long as you do your work for the day, Johnny won't find fault with you. and he also work with the same principle. once he had finished all the work for the day, only then would he sit down and rest. that's one valuable advice that he gave me, and I work with that principle everyday.